I'm really sorry you're going through this. I can't even imagine how frustrating and disheartening it is.

So first, I just want to give you a big virtual hug.

I'm not in your shoes, but here are a few things I would consider if I was in your shoes. Talk to your doctor about taking part in studies. There are alot of immunotherapy studies that are currently entering stage 1 trials. The idea is that these therapies can train your body to identify the cancerous cells and kill them. You can see if there are any in your area at clinicaltrials.gov

Second, consider your diet and exercise regimen. Not knowing you, I have no idea what your diet looks like currently, but there is alot of evidence that eating low fat, vegetable based diets can help prevent cancer recurrance. Also cutting back on alcohol intake. And exercising daily.

There is a TON of scientific evidence that links cancer and cancer growth to things like vitamin D or iodine deficiency.

My point is that if you want to try to DO something, there is alot of "alternative" ideas on how to help control cancer growth via diet and supplements.

I'm not sure if that helps, but I will keep you in my prayers.

Kay...thank you so very much. I love your idea about the chart. A motivational chart!! Brilliant suggestion for me and i will create one too. You make some salient points about how likely it is to not know where things are going..only that you are doing them. Something so serious to chase...with so little feedback on progress. Your (self) chart appeals to me certainly. I was thinking of dedicating a leftover calendar...but I think I will go big. I will remember you now...you standing and staring at the wall...and writing yourself inspirational messages....to keep at it. I pray for some good days...so I don't lose myself in the process. My sister in law is palliative with cancer and has hit a rapid decline now. Could be any day now....and I have spoken to my oncologist to say I may just have to cancel the start of my treatment should she pass away this next week. he was very concerned to hear of this additional stress. And he will support me postponing for one week if I should decide. He gave me many more days than I feared...before we have to make this last minute decision. I hope I do not have to cancel...cause i have finally reached ACCEPTANCE and am now ansty to get started. But I have some space now...so I can make the right decision. If she is still alive on Tuesday when I meet up with him...I will proceed and he can order my chemo drugs for Thursday. I will now need my new chart to document the significance of this very first step. I pray I can proceed...get it underway...then hedge my bets for the following week when I hope I will feel better....and the side effects have passed. I expect to feel sick but maybe I wont.

I got some good advice today...in addition to yours...from a BC survivor...a good friend...back from vacation...pledging support. She has lots of tips...looking back on her own journey. Make an effort to get some pleasure in my day...She swam...I am more likely to go for a walk. Or paint. And to make an effort about nutrition. If that is all the energy I can muster...to make a project around a good evening meal. I am not working so will have much time on my hands and alone...and I don't want to sink into depression. Rounding up my friends for help...so I still feel connected to something more than Mr. Cancer. More ideas you have to pass on will be most appreciated. I am a planner...I will plan for success! One day at a time. Good advice. Thank you again. Kay.

Constance, I am so sorry you are going through all this. I understand how awful this is, and that it won't go away, and that you have to just go through it, and that BITES. Forlorn and Grieving. I get that. I wish I were right there, giving you a hug. I send you a virtual hug anyway, a big virtual bear hug.

I had my last radiation treatment 8/5, so I am at the other end of this journey, and I remember when it was just beginning, how brightly positive those who had "made it" were, and how they encouraged me. They were super sincere, and it helped. BUT...there was this thing in my mind that kept whispering, "Easy for YOU to be positive. You're DONE." And you, my sister, must feel light years away from "Done."

I don't know if this would help you, but for me, I just HAD to...you know, have some feedback. Unless you're stage 4 and have tumor markers that shrink, treatments (although effective) just don't give you any indication of whether or not they're killing cancer. People would ask me, "What does the Doc say? Is the chemo working?" and later, "Is the radiation doing its job?" There is no light that changes color when the cancer is being killed, and we have to go through all this mess with SO little feedback to encourage us. SO...I made a Chemo poster and later a Radiation poster...a huge grid on florescent paper, with each square representing a treatment. I would write the date and an encouraging message to myself, and darned if I didn't watch BOTH of those charts getting filled up! That was a HUGE encouragement, because (1) the treatments fight cancer, and (2) the charts showed that I was progressing through the treatments. I'm almost embarrassed to tell you how many times I would stand at the wall, staring at the chart, praying, celebrating my very tangible progress as reflected by my charts.

Constance, they are STILL on my wall. I pass them and thank GOD for what He's brought me through. I know full well that you can't feel it now, but you WILL be there yourself, one treatment at a time. Maybe you might want to make some charts. WHATEVER you can do to encourage yourself could be extremely helpful.

God bless you, Constance. Hang in there, day at a time, treatment at a time, even through surgery. There is a beautiful world waiting at the summit of this mountain you are climbing...I promise!!!

Geri, I DID get a second opinion...when my medical oncologist was unwilling to talk with me, even by phone, about the bad path report. I got my tail to a far-away teaching hospital where they discovered (get THIS!) that the surgeon neglected to take out half the cancer! When I asked him about no incision there, he said, "What? Oh...uh...yeah, that's gone." Well, it didn't crawl out by itself! He FORGOT about it. At the teaching hospital, the new surgeon took it out along with more nodes to deal with the spread. I ended up having my radiation there too, making a daily 2-hour trip up and back for 7 weeks. But I realize that if the Med Onc HAD talked to me, I would have never found out that the first surgeon lied. That hunk of cancer was too big to be stopped with radiation. It would have killed me. So all-in-all, I am a BLESSED WOMAN.

Thank you for asking, and God bless you, Geri!

I am about to start my journey next week. My invasive breast cancer was identified as HER2 positive and hormone positive. Surgeon had days prior to this announcement suggested we proceed to mastectomy followed by chemo. This week oncologist weighed in most strongly that chemo must start immediately. Surgery can follow and tjat is because of the HER2 receptor. This is seriously aggressive cell...and the hope is to address more immediately than the mastectomy would if surgery was first. Also over a series of discussions, he made me feel more confident that my chemo protocol is one that they now know is the best line of defence for these receptors. 10 years ago they did not have these advancements which allows them to target specifically the proteins identified. I have finally agreed to this sequence overlapped with Herceptin...and i will later agree to the mastectomy..soon afterward...and the surgery will be followed by radiation. I am having the worst time STILL ...worse than my own mortality issues...with braving the mastectomy. I am shattered to have only this surgical option but I have seen the images. It is not that I have a lump or a tumour but a 10 cm span of barely detectable tiny cancer spots...and to surgically address each and every one of them..would eradicate the entire breast anyway. So I hear the point.

My chemo strategy is called FEC-D with now Herceptin added toward late chemo. Then Herceptin will continue for 17 weeks. I want to believe that the treatement designed...will mitigate the spread. And through the rest of the treatment stages...the goal will be to give me the best shot at avoiding recurrence. Funny how hard it is myself to think about recurrence odds. I am so mired in today. How do I cope each day. How do I manage in the present? Recurrence seems an issue far down the road. But when I thin it through...that is exactly what their goals are in cancer treatment. The best aggressive treatment possible that I don't hopefully deal one day with recurrence. They have many options. I feel that of the many options...they know now what is the one to choose for HER2. I believe in research and that breast cancer is the cancer that has evolved the most. That is why there are individually targeted options. i feel I am in the best facility.

So intellectually I am feeling as confident as I can under the circumstances. I am just totally forlorn...grieving...the mastectomy after the chemo...and have a long way to go...to acceptance. All feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Two weeks ago I had no idea I had breast cancer. Two weeks later...I am deep in the process and about to begin treatment in 5 more days..