Hey, Mimi... The only right answer to this one is what's in your heart, hon. If deep down you don't want breasts, don't try to make some. If you do, I highly recommend you table that until you are at least a year (preferably two) post radiation (complication rates on radiated recons sit at about 60%). If you're conflicted, this is absolutely the worst time to even consider rushing into a reconstruction, particularly if your medical team seems to be pushing you into it. This isn't a decision for them. It's a decision for you, and you have plenty of time to make it.

I did reconstruct--right before radiation (seriously one month before), and it was disastrous. My incision busted open more than once and I had to do 4 months of wound therapy following radiation to even get my skin to close after removing the expanders. (More than two of those months I spent 2 hours a day in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber.... 2 hours every day. Made radiation for 15 minutes every day seem like heaven.)

I lost my reconstruction two years ago next week, and I KNOW I can go back in there and try to get reconsructed using lat flaps. I might do it someday. Today, though, I don't want to. That's four weeks of four drains. That's mobility issues all over again and four wounds to heal (donor sites and chest). That's compromising my radiated skin again (and hon, there honestly isn't much of it left--I am all scar on one side down to the bone.) My reconstruction trauma is still too close for me--I'm still raw and terrified to touch that stuff ever again.

It is an absolute mess, and I sometimes feel like a freak, too. But I know stacking some fake boobs on top of that mess isn't going to make me feel any better. Not today anyhow. In the meantime, I can wear close fitting tops and spaghetti straps and backless dresses and don't have to run with a bra. When I hug people, I can hug heart-to-heart. No boob sweat. I used to have to spend $40 per bra, and they'd all wear out quickly, I was so huge. Everything I wore looked somehow inappropriate and I spent most of my life trying to hide them. Now I spend every day flaunting my new aerodynamic body. (It's quite slimming--although I've gained weight, most people think I've dropped a ton of it!)

The thing is, the clock never runs out on deciding to reconstruct. Maybe I'd like a little something someday. I know that like you, I don't know right now, and I'm not going to jump into a surgical committment for something I'm not sure about ever again. Take your time with this.... Listen to your heart.... And you will absolutely end up doing the right thing for you.

Look at the bright side of not having the reconstruction: 1) you can change your breast size everyday, 36, 38, 40, lol. 2) you will not have the worries of maintaining the implants, 3) you will not have the worries of side effects. Just think, it's not the boobs that make your appearance it's your personality and attitude. I have had one breast for 28 years and bilaterally Breastless for 10 years and I am so in love with myself! My husband loves me even more. Now, I am considering doing some topless modeling to sound the alarm to tell others the importance of saving the saving the boobs. Pray about it!

Nonono, you're not losing your mind. Anyway, you're entitled to change your mind, as others have said, first, because you're a woman, and second, because recon is not a process hemmed by time constraints.
There are several women, having felt strongly to go forth and reconstruct, who decide to have it removed after all. You can do how much or little you'd like at any time.
Having said that, I understand your position to keep surgeries to a minimum, and that's a good thing. Getting prosthetics may be just enough to dampen that feeling you're having without another surgical invasion. It may be that it's not quite enough, and then you'll have to consider what's the next option. I strongly believe doing what we can do to be right within ourselves is critical. If femininity is tied to your curves, add 'em back in, girl.
I have seen beautiful flat women ( both naturally and by disease tx) and just the other day saw a friend's chest for the first time implants and no nipple recon. I thought she looked angelic. In my case, I had nipple spare, and while I feel like I pulled one over on BC by keeping my nips, in finding that the sexualized nature of nippkes is totally lost on me, as I can't feel them any more than I can feel my whole foob. They are, entirely, a Boobage facsimile that sits atop my rib cages, and I feel no more integrated with them than my fake blondness or my fake nails.
It just depends how far you want to go with faking it, and surely there are degrees within each of us in terms of tolerance, for comfort in both a physical sense and emotional. That, only you can answer. And you'll do a fine job with that, in sure.

((Hug))

You do whatever makes you happy, I wish I had not had the reconstruction but I was still in shock when I made the decision. Take your time don't feel pushed or rushed, this is YOUR decision.

I opted for no reconstruction after my BMX 3 years ago and I have absolutely no regrets. My surgeon did a great job getting me flat and I don't miss my boobs at all - thankfully neither does my husband. I find that no one notices - they assume I'm small breasted, not breast-less :-)
I make no effort to hide my flat chest - I wear whatever tops I like and if I flash some scar, so what. I don't own any foobs and rarely wear scarves, hate ruffles (I'm not a toddler anymore), and wear what i like.
I swim daily and wear racing suits or other non-bosomy suits. I make no effort to hide my scars in the open locker room - they are the reality of breast cancer and maybe seen them will encourage others to get mammograms.