When Sue Franke was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2022, she had no symptoms. Despite some uneasiness about doctors and medical tests, for years she had faithfully scheduled her mammograms. “I always felt very comfortable and self-assured, [not expecting] any issues,” she said. However, Sue’s oldest daughter had received a breast cancer diagnosis two years before, and this time, something felt different.

As Sue faced her own diagnosis, she leaned on her daughter and learned valuable lessons about advocating for herself, seeking support, and finding ways to maintain joy. Now she shares her advice for others navigating a new breast cancer diagnosis.

Get More Than One Opinion

One of the first steps Sue took after being diagnosed was to seek multiple opinions. “When I was first diagnosed, I did some doctor shopping,” she explained. “I would recommend that anyone who’s diagnosed get more than one opinion.”

She emphasized the importance of finding a doctor who not only has the right expertise but also makes you feel heard and supported. “I think when you’re looking for a doctor, it’s really important to find someone that you are comfortable with,” Sue said.

And if a doctor isn’t giving you the time and attention you need, speak up: “You need to be more assertive and say, ‘Doctor, I’m not finished. I need more time. I have more questions. Can you please stay with me?’”

Bring Someone to Your Appointments

Processing a cancer diagnosis can be overwhelming, and Sue believes it’s essential to have support, especially in the early days. “I go to my appointments now by myself because now I’m just in a maintenance routine,” she said. “But when you are [first] diagnosed, when you’re talking about treatment, I think it’s important to have someone with you who can ask questions as well, who can take notes for you, and who can just support you.”

Having a second set of ears and someone to advocate for you can make a big difference in understanding your treatment options and feeling emotionally supported.

Ask for Help — and Be Specific

Like many people, Sue hesitated at first to ask for help: “People need to learn — it was hard for me — to say, ‘Can you help me?’”

Eventually, Sue realized that people often wanted to help but didn’t know how. “You have to be specific and say, ‘Can you help me and cut the grass? Can you help me and bring a meal?’ But don’t be embarrassed to say, ‘Can you help me?’ — because people want to,” she said.

Find an Outlet for Stress

For Sue, quilting has been a lifelong passion and an essential pastime throughout her cancer journey. “I started making quilts probably 45 years ago,” she said, “and then here I am, many years later, with a room full of fabric and a house full of quilts. It’s a stress reliever, and I enjoy the creativity.”

She encourages others to find a personal outlet to help shift focus away from the stress of a diagnosis. “If you don’t find joy and peace in something that will take your focus off the breast cancer, it’s difficult to not have your mind continually thinking about what’s going on with your body,” she pointed out.

Remind Yourself: Your Life Is Not Over

A breast cancer diagnosis can feel like the end of life as you know it, but Sue offers a powerful reminder that it isn’t. “When you’re initially diagnosed, a lot of us tend to think, ‘My life is over,’” she said. “You need to do some self-talk and say, ‘It is not over. I have a disease, but it can be treated. I have resources. I have people. I have medicine. I have insurance.’”

She acknowledges that cancer changes circumstances, but the diagnosis doesn’t mean life stops. “It’s a change. It’s not what I had in mind,” she said. “Things are going to be a little bit different, but my life is not over.”

Find Others Who Understand

On MyBCTeam, the social network for people with breast cancer and their loved ones, more than 76,000 members come together to ask questions, give advice, and share their stories with others who understand life with breast cancer.

What do you wish you’d known when you were first diagnosed with breast cancer? What advice do you have for others who are newly diagnosed? Share your experience in the comments below, or start a conversation by posting on your Activities page.