Things that I once said to cancer patients that I will not say again:
Any statement with the word "journey" in it.
"You look great"

Things people said that made me feel better:
"I'm sorry."
"What can I do to help?"

Things that made me feel worse than I already did (when chemo made me really sick), especially when coming from people who have been through treatment for various cancers:
"I'm surprised you're sick with all the advances in anti-nausea drugs".
"I never got sick when I had chemo. Stay positive."
"I got my chemo on a Friday and went back to work full time on Monday."

When somebody asks how I feel and I answer honestly (to educate that I have been surprised to learn that side-effects like neuropathy, joint pain & hair loss can be long-lasting, not to complain) and the person says "welcome to the club" or gives a dismissive wave of the hand and says glibly "everybody's got something!"

This experience has made me more aware of the daily struggles of people living with diabetes, fibromyalgia, alopecia, etc.

When I was first diagnosed it was: "Don't do chemo, it will ruin your immune system forever. Just change your diet. Eat more vitamin C." Hey, when YOU'RE the one staring down the barrel of that gun, do whatever feels right to you. But don't tell me what to do when you have absolutely no medical knowledge whatsoever. Dr. Google is not a real doctor.

I get upset when people tell me this is just a blip in time and pretty soon I can forget all about it. I think the Cancer will always be part of me. I will never be the same person.

Ok, so maybe it's not advice. But, I am offended when someone says....but you look so healthy. Like they don't believe my story. I'm almost to the point where I don't even want to share my journey anymore. I've been thru a lot. Even though there are many, many more that have been through way more than I. Please don't diminish me.

Ooooh, man! Let's see ...

1.) That I need to relax and take it easy. (Yeah, I've been doing that and I gained 15 lbs.)

2.) That positive thinking will help beat your cancer. (You know, attitude is everything?)

3.) That having no breasts isn't bad but having reconstruction is better. (Says who?? SOCIETY???)

4.) That now I'll have to lose the weight I gained from my treatments. (Yeah? No kidding?)

5.) That I have to take better care of myself now to prevent a reoccurrence. (I'm triple negative. I got a 50/50 chance.)

6.) That my hair will either come in curly, red or stick straight. (How about if I just have HAIR at ALL?)

7.) That so-and-so went through it and since her diagnosis was like mine and she did A, B, and C, I shouldn't have any trouble doing the exact same thing.

8.) That so-and-so WORKED the WHOLE TIME during chemo and not long after surgery and through radiation and did just fine.

9.) The whole "If there's anything I can do, let me know" really upset me because out of all the people who said this to me and more than once, I've only had THREE people actually step up and do for me when I asked and it takes a lot for me to ask since I'm a hands-on type of gal.

10.) That when I'm in pain, my pain is REAL. IT's not just something made up in my head. When I say I don't feel well or that I hurt, it's to be taken seriously and not blown off.