Like you, after being very active in church, I stepped back for a bit and experienced almost the same type of treatment/lack of response. However, when I dropped off an in-kind donation at the fall church clothing collection trailer, I got (at least a partial answer). "When we didn't see you for a while, we thought you moved!" My response, "Nope--didn't move and not dead yet!"

Then, I went to confession (the first time in a great while) and included how I felt about this (lack of reaching out/situation--while I had the pastor's undivided attention in the confessional. He was as compassionate as he could be and immediately offered me the assistance of the church and several outreach groups.

There's nothing wrong with having expectations. After all you did for others, it would have been very nice to be on the receiving end of a little kindness; I'm so sorry that didn't happen for you. IMHO, sometimes people (with no experience with illness) can be so ignorant and insensitive--perhaps without even realizing it. Perhaps they don't know what TO say so they say nothing.

Not sure whether or not I will go back to this church (or any other church) either. But I've decided to give myself a break from everything, be more gentle with myself and not try to worry about what other people do, think, or feel. I will admit, after years of doing so much for others, it's a strange feeling focusing on myself and what I need.

Hope this helps!

Janet. I feel for you. Talk to your pastor and see what happened. I was lucky and received many calls and cards. The suggestions above are very good. Hope that you find strength in your journey.

What was your relationship like with the pastor and other members of the congregation before the diagnosis? It is was a fair=weather relationship only, then I might consider visiting other churches to see if I felt more of a connection elsewhere.

I would think the members of the church would have taken the lead from the pastor. Our church will always have a prayer together mentioning those that are sick, mourning, or thanking God for blessings family members have experiences (new babies, wedding dates, graduations, etc). But that requires the pastor to have some knowledge of what is going on, whether personally, or through other members.

Often there is an insert in the Sunday worship guide providing an address for cards or any special activities congregants can get involved in.

If you were otherwise happy with this church, perhaps you can talk to the pastor about how detached you felt during this time. Maybe instead of greeter, etc. you could help start a small group that would reach out to those members who are experiencing health challenges- so that they are able to feel connected to and supported by their church family. Keeping you in prayers as you navigate through your feelings. Hugs!

I am so sorry you had to 'feel' this kind of rejection from your church. Did your pastor and members know about what have been dealing with? Did you go to church during your treatment or are you just feeling okay enough now to go back? If Pastor & members knew I would think at least one person would have contacted you by mail or phone . If they haven't seen you for awhile they could be thinking you are in bad shape and don't know what to say. A lot of this depends if they knew the gravity of your illness and even how long you were a member and how connected you felt with the members before you got Breast cancer. 🥰

I have a history of being a social avoidant, introvert, and I have learned that I have to reach out to others for support, especially when I start that spiral downward. People may not know you are struggling - until someone goes through this, they have no idea what we deal with on a daily basis. I know it is hard, but I would encourage you to reach out to others when you need connection. People are so wrapped up in their own lives, they think you just want to be alone. But being alone is not always what you need. Connect when you are need to, in whatever way you can because isolation will make you even more depressed and sick. Hugs.