I told my 3 friends who I have known for a really long time and then did not hear from two of them at all since 2 years ago.

One did then contact occasionally by text or email.
The other one did not even reply to group texts or even questions directed to her.

She did not send birthday cards to any of us and only said that she was taking her husband for tests. Then found out at Christmas that her husband had lung cancer.

Other friend found out 4 weeks ago that this friend whose husband had cancer came down with dementia. She had dementia and had to stay with her brother now as she gets lost when she drives.
None of us know how long that has been going on. This was a complete shock to us.

So, sometimes people do not share at all what is going on in their lives…I have known her since age 18.

I haven't had that experience. I don't really want to talk about cancer very much and so my friendships have pretty much continued as usual. About half a dozen women in my church have had BC and a few others a different kind of cancer. Most of them came up to me to offer support after my initial diagnosis. I decided early on that I didn't want my life to become about cancer. I prefer to spend my time with my friends talking about other things. If I need to talk about cancer then I have this group. I don't think I can expect someone who hasn't been through cancer to understand what it is like and to be invested in hearing about it every time we are together. Maybe they are afraid of losing you and hearing about your BC issues magnifies that fear. I prefer to show a little grace for other's fears and discomfort. I am glad that they caught your cancer early. They did mine, too. If I had a friend of that length, I would forgive them for feeling uncomfortable and let them back into my life. No, BC isn't funny but I would rather joke about it than cry about it and it makes me a lot more fun to be around.

We are a crazy kinda mix of women who have become more than friends. We have become family all due to Cancer. We're here for a reason.

Poor baby. Oh the things I really want to say.
When my ex got drunk every 3 days he would then sleep for 24 hours and when he woke up with the worse hangover ever, I would dump the instant coffee down the drain so he would be forced to have to walk 4 blocks to get a cup of coffee. It was very satisfying.

Hi Teresa, we have had this discussion here before. I had a friend of 45 years, she was always the weak and I was always the stronger and she has been deathly afraid of getting cancer for decades, we often talked about it but then when I got breast cancer I noticed how she would try to change the subject once she got the updated review how I was doing or latest scan results, months later it was 'I can't talk about cancer because then at night it comes into my head and I will dream about it'. So, it was okay to talk cancer for 5 minutes but then onto other things. I realized I had no time for such trivial BS and always 'smoothing' the way for her that I ended our phone calls. For the last 15 years our friendship was 6 hours a week talking on the phone. She emails me she misses me; I haven't called her in over a month. I just don't care; I have other priorities now that take precedence over talking nonsense for 6 hours a week.

By the way Teresa, I am glad they caught your breast cancer early and I wish you the very best.❤️